So anyway, today I am at work and as some of us must do sometimes needed to blast a certain room with Febreze brand room deodorizer. As I was doing this I got to thinking that I should probably thank the inventor of this product since it is the best invention for folks living/working together in a small environment since the bedroom size mini-fridge. Yeah right, my 12 pack just got up and walked away. I Googled and Googled but to no avail, I can not find the inventor's name. That breaks my heart because he gave us a gift that we cannot repay. A little about Febreze, it is particularly important in our romantic relationships especially in the early stages. I once dated a girl who actually had a friend ask her "It hasn't been a problem having only one bathroom?" She responded in the negative but there was one incident on both sides and she knew it. She accidentally left a feminine product in the toilet but she got the worst of it and I don't think I have to explain why. She actually asked if it was in retaliation…man, I wish I had thought of that. That was not actually the worst situation I have been in though. I was with a girl who grew up with well water. She still thought flushing a toilet pre-shower would either scald and scar you for life or leave you with the water pressure of a leaky fountain pen. For the most part she was good and remembered that we had city water and a 60 gallon water heater but as I recall there were at least monthly relapses. I tried to find nice ways to remind her of the missing step in her morning routine, things like "Wow, have you been eating bran? There were more floaters than sinkers today." but to no avail. I obviously can't talk about my current situation because having 2 women wanting to kill me is plenty. Don't be afraid to call me for some of the stories though. I'll give you the straight poop…easy killer, I know that was lame.
Well as usual I have rambled off topic. Ah, sweet Febreze. I work in an environment with 2 women. Sadly no matter how hard I try to keep my schedule in such a way as to allow myself to conduct business in my own home, inevitably I run into a situation that requires action outside of my domicile. Before Febreze I bet folks risked serious injury trying to stem the tide of, well, you know. We once ran out of Febreze here at work and I actually faked a delivery at the warehouse just to speed over there and use the facilities. Long story short, (yeah, right) shame on you Proctor and Gamble. We know damn well that neither Proctor nor Gamble invented this shit. (Can you believe that is the first time in this blog that the word shit was used?) You guys taking all the credit for Febreze is like GE taking credit for the light bulb or Starbucks taking the credit for overpriced, lousy coffee. My bad, they do deserve credit for that. Anyway, I say to you Proctor and Gamble, do the right thing boys because your success rings a little hollow to me now. If you do not give the proper credit and praise to the poor sap who toiled in the bowels (tee hee) of your labs to bring us this sweet, but not too sweet misty elixir I will rally the nation and we will boycott this product. (That may be the shallowest threat ever)
Well as usual I have rambled off topic. Ah, sweet Febreze. I work in an environment with 2 women. Sadly no matter how hard I try to keep my schedule in such a way as to allow myself to conduct business in my own home, inevitably I run into a situation that requires action outside of my domicile. Before Febreze I bet folks risked serious injury trying to stem the tide of, well, you know. We once ran out of Febreze here at work and I actually faked a delivery at the warehouse just to speed over there and use the facilities. Long story short, (yeah, right) shame on you Proctor and Gamble. We know damn well that neither Proctor nor Gamble invented this shit. (Can you believe that is the first time in this blog that the word shit was used?) You guys taking all the credit for Febreze is like GE taking credit for the light bulb or Starbucks taking the credit for overpriced, lousy coffee. My bad, they do deserve credit for that. Anyway, I say to you Proctor and Gamble, do the right thing boys because your success rings a little hollow to me now. If you do not give the proper credit and praise to the poor sap who toiled in the bowels (tee hee) of your labs to bring us this sweet, but not too sweet misty elixir I will rally the nation and we will boycott this product. (That may be the shallowest threat ever)
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