Living here in Florida
with all the snowbirds you get to see more license plates than a Folsom
Inmate. I never really gave much thought to what they said before I
moved here. Coming from the "Constitution State" sort of numbs you to
looking for something clever being printed on one. Here are a few of my
favorite state plates and what they say. These are all actual plates.
Alabama-"Sweet Home". Seems kind of easy to make fun of so this is my first readers contest. The funniest one that is submitted will be published and taken credit for by me.
Alaska-"Celebrating Statehood 1959-2009" Woo Hoo! It's freezing and there is nothing to do, they celebrate when Palin bags a deer for Pete's sake.
Arkansas-"The Natural State". Probably so named for Bill Clinton's aversion to silicone or Hillary's to makeup.
Delaware-"The First State". It's nice to be good at something.
District of Columbia-"Taxation Without Representation". Ya can't make this stuff up. What, are they coming clean? Why not just have it say "Ha Ha Suckers"?
Florida-"Sunshine State". Could not fit "Too Crowded or Hot as Hades Depending on the Time of Year State" I guess.
Idaho-"Famous Potatoes". Obviously Dan Quayle had no hand in this.
Indiana-"Lincoln's Boyhood Home". So...a nice place to leave?
Illinois-"Land of Lincoln". "Indiana's Our Bitch" finished a close second.
Louisiana-"Sportsman's Paradise". Shoot all the looters that you want. Don't worry if you wing a FEMA guy, they have good insurance.
Maine-"Vacationland". Yup, if you are from anywhere north of Bridgeport and your folks are not rich it certainly is.
Missouri-"Show Me State". I really feel I should have a good one for this, nothing though. Guess we have our second readers contest.
Nevada-"The Silver State"-Why would you brag about finishing second?
New Hampshire-"Live Free or Die". Let me know how that works out for you.
North Carolina-"First in Flight". OK, this one really gets me. I know, the Wright Brothers flew there in 1903 making the first controlled flight in history. Problem, they were from Ohio...I think the plate should say "Where Smart People Come to do Stuff".
Ohio-"Birthplace of Aviation". You're damn skippy it is.
Oklahoma-"Native America". They have casinos there?
Pennsylvania-"visitPA.com". Guess your friend moved.
Puerto Rico-"Island of Enchantment". If so how come no one stays there?
Rhode Island-"Ocean State". Shortened from "About to be swallowed by the ocean state"
South Carolina-"In God We Trust". Still hopeful someone smart will do something there.
Tennessee-"The Volunteer State". Have you seen their unemployment rate? They can't get people to do shit for money!
Texas-"The Lone Star State". Does Miley Cyrus still live there?
West Virginia-"Wild, Wonderful". That's just the family reunions.
I will update with contest winners submissions when received.
Alabama-"Sweet Home". Seems kind of easy to make fun of so this is my first readers contest. The funniest one that is submitted will be published and taken credit for by me.
Alaska-"Celebrating Statehood 1959-2009" Woo Hoo! It's freezing and there is nothing to do, they celebrate when Palin bags a deer for Pete's sake.
Arkansas-"The Natural State". Probably so named for Bill Clinton's aversion to silicone or Hillary's to makeup.
Delaware-"The First State". It's nice to be good at something.
District of Columbia-"Taxation Without Representation". Ya can't make this stuff up. What, are they coming clean? Why not just have it say "Ha Ha Suckers"?
Florida-"Sunshine State". Could not fit "Too Crowded or Hot as Hades Depending on the Time of Year State" I guess.
Idaho-"Famous Potatoes". Obviously Dan Quayle had no hand in this.
Indiana-"Lincoln's Boyhood Home". So...a nice place to leave?
Illinois-"Land of Lincoln". "Indiana's Our Bitch" finished a close second.
Louisiana-"Sportsman's Paradise". Shoot all the looters that you want. Don't worry if you wing a FEMA guy, they have good insurance.
Maine-"Vacationland". Yup, if you are from anywhere north of Bridgeport and your folks are not rich it certainly is.
Missouri-"Show Me State". I really feel I should have a good one for this, nothing though. Guess we have our second readers contest.
Nevada-"The Silver State"-Why would you brag about finishing second?
New Hampshire-"Live Free or Die". Let me know how that works out for you.
North Carolina-"First in Flight". OK, this one really gets me. I know, the Wright Brothers flew there in 1903 making the first controlled flight in history. Problem, they were from Ohio...I think the plate should say "Where Smart People Come to do Stuff".
Ohio-"Birthplace of Aviation". You're damn skippy it is.
Oklahoma-"Native America". They have casinos there?
Pennsylvania-"visitPA.com". Guess your friend moved.
Puerto Rico-"Island of Enchantment". If so how come no one stays there?
Rhode Island-"Ocean State". Shortened from "About to be swallowed by the ocean state"
South Carolina-"In God We Trust". Still hopeful someone smart will do something there.
Tennessee-"The Volunteer State". Have you seen their unemployment rate? They can't get people to do shit for money!
Texas-"The Lone Star State". Does Miley Cyrus still live there?
West Virginia-"Wild, Wonderful". That's just the family reunions.
I will update with contest winners submissions when received.
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