OK, a lot of folks ask
me how I managed to zoom a chick 10 years my junior so I thought it was
time to impart some of my knowledge of the ladies on you guys. Lesson 1
is the bar pick up. The bar pick up is a funny thing because you will
tend to do better with the ladies the later it gets in the evening. You
have a couple of choices here, either start showing up after 11:00 PM
or get some good lines for yourself. The upside of showing up after 11
is that you will not have to buy most of the drinks that made you better
looking and more articulate. The downside is the pickings can be a bit
slim since the guys that are actually good looking and articulate have long since left with their new girlfriends. So let's make a good come on line plan
A, shall we?
The pick-up line...I can not stress how important originality is here. Even Matt Damon can not get away with "I know milk does a body good but damn baby, how much have you been drinking?" Now I have seen bad lines work and good lines fail so these are just some ideas here. A guy I know went into a bar in South Carolina and said to a small group of ladies "Want to go back to my place, have sex and smoke cigarettes?" finishing with the inevitable "What's the matter, you don't smoke?". Bad part-this line is old and crass. Good part-it worked. Actually it worked to a degree. I am not the kind of guy that talks about another guys "conquests" (actually the guy that pulled it off put the "con" in conquest) but if Roy Tanner or John Tallis want to chime in here feel free guys. Another guy I know went into a bar and said to a girl "Can I borrow a quarter? I promised my mom I would call her when I fell in love." Good part-this line is cute and unoffensive. Bad part-this girl was 23 and had no idea what a pay phone was. Now some would call this a failure and move on but my friend chose to learn from his mistakes. The next time he went into a bar he went up to a girl and said "Do you have unlimited text?" (They always do) When she answered in the affirmative he said "Can I borrow your phone? I promised my mom I'd text her when I fell in love." Boom! Dance floor baby!!! Of course he blew the deal while dancing...did "the point"...will we ever learn? Below are some other lines that have worked but remember, there are no guarantees.
Dip the tip of your finger in your drink and flick a drop of it at a girl then say "Want to go back to my place and get out of these wet things?" This is a do or die one depending on the girls sense of humor and whether or not her shirt is silk.
Say "F__k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Penelope?" On the off chance that her name actually is Penelope at least you have broken the ice.
"I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"
"Your beauty blinded me, so I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes."
" I’m sorry to stare. It’s just that you look exactly like my next girlfriend."
Walk up to her and say "POOF!" (She will say, “Excuse me” or some other type of perplexed exclamation.) Reply "Here I am. What are your other two wishes going to be?"
"I don’t like playing games and I hate pick up lines, so I’m just going to ask. Do you like sex?"
"I’m going to my car to make out. Would you like to join me?"
So guys, pick your favorite or come up with your own. Stay tuned for part II of this series, "Keeping her interested after she's sobered up" Until then...
The pick-up line...I can not stress how important originality is here. Even Matt Damon can not get away with "I know milk does a body good but damn baby, how much have you been drinking?" Now I have seen bad lines work and good lines fail so these are just some ideas here. A guy I know went into a bar in South Carolina and said to a small group of ladies "Want to go back to my place, have sex and smoke cigarettes?" finishing with the inevitable "What's the matter, you don't smoke?". Bad part-this line is old and crass. Good part-it worked. Actually it worked to a degree. I am not the kind of guy that talks about another guys "conquests" (actually the guy that pulled it off put the "con" in conquest) but if Roy Tanner or John Tallis want to chime in here feel free guys. Another guy I know went into a bar and said to a girl "Can I borrow a quarter? I promised my mom I would call her when I fell in love." Good part-this line is cute and unoffensive. Bad part-this girl was 23 and had no idea what a pay phone was. Now some would call this a failure and move on but my friend chose to learn from his mistakes. The next time he went into a bar he went up to a girl and said "Do you have unlimited text?" (They always do) When she answered in the affirmative he said "Can I borrow your phone? I promised my mom I'd text her when I fell in love." Boom! Dance floor baby!!! Of course he blew the deal while dancing...did "the point"...will we ever learn? Below are some other lines that have worked but remember, there are no guarantees.
Dip the tip of your finger in your drink and flick a drop of it at a girl then say "Want to go back to my place and get out of these wet things?" This is a do or die one depending on the girls sense of humor and whether or not her shirt is silk.
Say "F__k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Penelope?" On the off chance that her name actually is Penelope at least you have broken the ice.
"I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"
"Your beauty blinded me, so I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes."
" I’m sorry to stare. It’s just that you look exactly like my next girlfriend."
Walk up to her and say "POOF!" (She will say, “Excuse me” or some other type of perplexed exclamation.) Reply "Here I am. What are your other two wishes going to be?"
"I don’t like playing games and I hate pick up lines, so I’m just going to ask. Do you like sex?"
"I’m going to my car to make out. Would you like to join me?"
So guys, pick your favorite or come up with your own. Stay tuned for part II of this series, "Keeping her interested after she's sobered up" Until then...
